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Bored? Update your Facebook to “in a relationship” with someone you’ve never met just to see if they’ll confirm.
Nothing is impossible. I know a man that once guessed correctly why a woman was mad at him.
Anyone else wake up in a grass skirt and coconut bra?
Do gun manuals have Trouble Shooting sections?
I hate when our cat runs into the room, hisses at an empty chair then runs back out and I end up in the bathtub holding a crucifix.
Mad respect to people who can stop eating when they`re full.
Oh well, this time isn`t going to procrastinate itself.
You call them French Fries…I call them Edible Ketchup Shovels.
Even this posting will offend some people, hopefully.
Summer: Hair gets lighter. Skin gets darker. Water gets warmer. Drinks get colder. Music gets louder. Nights get longer. Life gets better.
Who am I calling stupid?? Good question.... What`s your name?!
Know what this salad needs? A Big Mac.
My favorite mythical creature is the happy b*tch in tampon commercials.
In the morning there`s a huge difference between 6:00 and 6:05.
I have noticed that everyone who is for abortion, has already been born.