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Let´s drink tequila till you don´t remember what I suggest next..
"Slow and steady wins the race." Unless it`s one of those weird races that puts an emphasis on speed
I`ve been starting my diet tomorrow for the last 20 years.
Before I lose my phone, end up naked, high, drunk and/or possibly arrested, I would like to wish you all a Happy Friday.
What doesn`t kill you makes you stronger. Except for bears. Bears will kill you.
This lasagna recipe has been handed down in my family for generations in the hopes that someone would eventually make it.
I really think that Caller ID needs to be more detailed. It should say things like "Wants help moving" or "Will whine about bad relationship."
Babysitting is a way for teenagers to feel like adults while adults go out to feel like teenagers.
Q: What do you call apple-flavoured marijuana? A: iPot
I guess not everyone at this grocery store is as comfortable with my nudity as I am. ;)
just wanted to tell the weekend that I love you and I will be back, I will not let the weekdays take me away from you.
"Mounting debt" sounds way sexier than it is.
I’m Not Arguing. I’m Simply Explaining Why I’m Right.
I wish I could select all my responsibilities and press delete.
If the customer is always right, then why isn’t anything for free?