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Never sit down in front of the computer while having breakfast because when you get up it’ll be dinner time.
How to create a weight-loss program: (1) Take a before picture. (2) Eat like a pig. (3) Take an after picture. (4) Switch the pictures.
At this point I`m guessing the North only won the Civil War because the South got half an inch of snow and they completely lost their minds
I`m gaining weight for my role as "Before picture"
I think I have a serious problem---Today I was reading the newspaper and found myself looking for the "Like" button.
I hate mixed messages. They`re great.
The way you feel when your phone dies is exactly how Cinderella must have felt at midnight
I love how music can take you to another place. For example One Direction is playing in this cafe so now I`m going to a different cafe.
I hate it when I write a sarcastic Facebook status and someone who doesn’t speak sarcasm has to comment and ruin it.
You’d think after all these beauty pageants, we would have world peace by now.
I just did a bunch of crunches and curls. There were Nestle Crunches and cheese curls, but still. I`m exhausted.
If only someone on the internet would give me their opinion on the election.
One good thing about repeating your mistakes is that you know when to cringe.
If Welch’s is 100% Grape Juice, then why the heck do you list 4 other ingredients?
Instead of LOL, try SALTS ( smiled a little, then stopped)