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If you`re single and you know it hug your cat!
Why do they play this music on the elevators if we`re not suppose to slow dance.
Apparently when a trainer asks you why you want to get in shape and you answer "revenge" it will raise a couple eyebrows.
Ever wanna tell someone to shut the f*ck up even when they are not speaking
Working from home and HR already cited me for sexual misconduct.
Clearly, you are a person with an open mind. I can feel the breeze from here.
I like to follow random families around Disneyland for a day and just be in the background of all their photos.
One of my friends had a baby today, and another got a puppy. I think we all know which one I`m going to visit.
this isn`t the status you`re looking for
I`m sorry, we can`t hire you. But your background check was hilarious.
I hope everyone takes my advice and never takes my advice.
I want to lose weight, but I don`t want to get caught up in one of those "Eat right and exercise" scams.
The first person to see a sunset was probably like well this ain`t good.
People who enjoy life, rarely have a flat stomach.
I don`t need a New Years Resolution, I`m already awesome!