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I wonder if "Sober Me" knows that "Drunk Me" can Breakdance?
I`m just here until I can make day drinking a full time job
It`s called PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
pudding... thats always a funny word
Olive Garden says “When you’re here you’re family”, how could they expect me NOT to think I’m entitled to a free meal.
There`s no rehab for stupid! ;P
I`m an accident looking for a place to happen!
I finally stopped caring what other people think ... I hope everyone`s ok with that.
If those Febreeze commercials with rooms filled with stinking, rotting garbage convince you to buy their product. Here`s a heads up for you........ You need to clean your freaking house!!!
Facebook should allow people to be in a relationship with food. That would be my relationship for eternity.
Due to Global Warming Santa will be giving out Solar Panels to all the naughty kids this year!
Roses are red, violets are blue, daisies are white, sunflowers are yellow. This florist has everything.
Someone tore off my warning label when I was born.
I robbed a bank yesterday....now the question is, what to do with all that sperm....
Pizza: Round food, cut into triangles and put into a square box.