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Why is it that whenever there`s two women in a profile pic, the hot one is always someone else..?
Once and for all, I agree to ALL "the terms and conditions" that have or will ever exist!
Hey dude who flipped me off in the Subway parking lot for honking at you, you left your dinner on top of your car.
Sometimes Google should just come back with a message that says "trust me, you don`t want to know."
To get laid is good. To get off is good. To get laid off is bad.
My business card is just a label I peeled off a beer bottle.
I hate sharing popcorn with someone at the cinema and our fingers touch. Especially if I don`t know them, and they don`t know we`re sharing.
A lie is a great story that someone ruined with the truth.
I don`t think America should elect a president in 2016. We need to be single for a few years and find ourselves.
Been there, done that. Then, been there several more times, because apparently I never learn.
Stand for what you believe in. Or sit on the couch and have a couple of donuts. It`s a free country really.
Looks like I’m in the doghouse again, but I don’t know why. All I said to the wife was, “Is there anything important you want to tell me before the World Cup starts?”
thinks we should all jump out of our chairs and do the 5 second happy dance! READY! GO!
To avoid being eaten by Zombies go to "settings", "public", and uncheck the box that says "Facebook users taste like chicken"
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.