Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I like how adding a little OJ to a glass of champagne says “I’m classy” instead of “It’s nine in the morning and I have a drinking problem.”
Just ordered a chicken and an egg off the internet to see which comes first. I`ll keep you posted.
Happy 4th of July ... U can toss out the Christmas tree now
Why does Facebook even give me the option to `Like` my own status? Of course I like my status, I`m F*ck!ng Hilarious! ...and Sexy.
If you believe in reincarnation then your tombstone should say “b.r.b” instead of “r.i.p”.
It`s about time the government enacted a law that keeps dumb and stupid people away from playing any role in society.
It`s not condescending if they`re stupid.
I`ve learned more from one season of "Shark tank", than I ever learned in four years of buisness school.
The zoo basically has two modes. 1. Lazy sleepy animals. 2. Hard core porn
I hate when people try to make small talk on the elevator. "How`s it going?", "How about the weather?", "Where are your pants?".
Found out the difference between onions and men. I don`t cry when I`m chopping up men.
Things I`m confused by: how did Rub a Dub Dub, Three Men in a Tub become a nursery rhyme?
The “Slow Children Playing” signs always make me sad. Would it cost that much more to thrown in punctuation?
RIGHT NOW YOU HAVE: 3 fingers behind your phone, your pinky tucked under for support and your scrolling with your thumb! LIKE if I’m right!!!!
Remember, life isn`t about accumulating stuff. It`s about making people insanely jealous of your stuff.