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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

If every U.S. sports team converted to metric, Americans would understand the metric system by the next game.
I think I need to return my GPS...no matter what it can`t help me find easy street
Yes, bitches be trippin’ but maybe I pushed one.
with great power...comes great electric bill...
I’m beginning to think that for some of you, the wheels on your bus do not go round & round.
I know it`s 3 meals a day,,,,,, But how many at night?
Remember when teachers asked to lie quietly with your head on your desk? My boss has yet to be impressed with this skill.
I see you`ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
My phone just filmed a 6 hour documentary about life inside my pocket
why were you in my dreams again? i`m starting to think you`re stalking me.
Cubs fans, you need to wait 107 more years. But don`t worry, 2124 will be here before you know it!
I`m switching to Metric. I would weigh a lot less on the Metric scale.
Mornings are the best when they start in the afternoon.
Do me a favor if someone tells you they don`t like me , tell them I don`t like them either.
Stop leaving me messages. If I ever wanted to talk to you again, I wouldn’t have borrowed all that money.