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I just can`t help it ... Sarcastic bitch is built-in.
Remember the bridge you drive over today was built by the lowest bidder.
Please don`t hastag out loud...
I`ve been building my own particle accelerator. Plan to create a boson particle. Explore the mysteries.....you know what? This is a lot of work. Think I`m just going to have a beer and play Call of Duty.
I can`t face my checkbook so I check my Facebook.
I saw a woman crying as she was buying tampons earlier.....must be going through a tough period in her life....
Some idiots actually sold their homes and properties thinking the world was really going to end! What losers. I hope my boss gives me my job back on Monday
The first rule of Women`s fight club is don`t tell anyone what you`re mad about or why you`re fighting.
Iām not brave. Iām just past the age where running is an option.
You think Iām mean? If only you knew what I say in my head.
Somehow, hitting the "end call" button on the cell phone just doesn`t feel nearly as good as the old days when you could slam the phone down on somebody.
Today my role will be played by an overworked, under caffeinated, sarcastic, unstable, asshole. Consider this my disclaimer for the day.
One of my friends had a baby today, and another got a puppy. I think we all know which one I`m going to visit.
How can I learn to be more patient? (I`m only interested in quick-fix solutions with immediate results please)
The same people that made fun of me for my calculator watch in high school are now wearing Apple watches.