Daily Silly Status

Don`t be afraid to laugh at yourself you could be missing out on the joke of the century.

My nephew asked me what marriage was like. So I gave him a candy bar and told him not to eat it.

I still miss my ex. But my aim is gettin` better.

Do you think in the spirit world they have TV shows about trying to make contact with the living?

"Please don`t put a million dumb photos of me on your Facebook... it just annoys your friends" - Every baby

There`s no point in using a big word, when an infinitesimally diminutive one will do.

I miss newspapers. It`s weird hitting a dog on the nose with an iPad

This is the earliest I have ever been late.

Its all sh!ts and giggles until someone giggles and sh!ts

When you drink Vodka over ice, it can give you kidney failure, When you drink Rum over ice, it can give you liver failure, When you drink Whiskey over ice, it can give you heart problems, When you drink Gin over ice, it can give you brain problems. Apparently, ice is really bad for you.

I think I just discovered Newton’s third law of Emotion: ..... "For every male action, there is an equal and opposite female overreaction."

Sometimes Late at night. I rearrange traffic signs. People need to be challenged.

I wish I could afford to have a drinking problem.

I can`t help but feel important when someone says there`s a special place in hell for people like me.

Good neighbors do not put password on their wi-fi.