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I didn´t outsmart you. You just outdumbed me.
So in between the 4 seconds that I missed your call and managed to call ya back, you`ve fallen off the face of the earth?
That moment when you put your pants on, take a few steps, and feel something crawling down your leg! You grab it on the outside so it doesn`t crawl any further....and then you sigh in relief and thank God the dryer sheet doesn`t bite!
You question whether you are getting old when your barber asks if your eyebrows need trimming, and you know it when he does it without asking
Lucky Charms should be 98% Marshmallows and 2% of that other sh*t.
"2 weeks with my baby xoxoxo" lol,calm down romeo&juliet.
i m not totally useless, i can b used as bad example
Etc... A word used to make others believe that you know more than you actually do
Being an adult is mostly being exhausted, wishing you hadn`t made plans, and wondering how you hurt your back.
More people should be at a loss for words.
Last person to like this wins a prize.
Random Fact of the Day: Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.
My ex said he would die for me. All I`m saying is, it was his suggestion.
If nothing else, love is nice because it confirms that you do not hate everyone. Just everyone minus one.
Million Dollar Idea: A restaurant that offers Coke and Pepsi....