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I can alwasy tell when movies do not use real dinosaurs
If it were easy then everyone would act like me.
Never throw sunglasses in an argument. If they land perfectly on your opponent`s face there is no known comeback.
Why can’t they make the whole week out of Saturdays?
Just rescued a Coca Cola that was trapped in the fridge!
Dracula had impeccable hair for a guy who couldn’t see himself in a mirror.
Broke up with my girlfriend. She was into the horoscope stuff and we weren`t compatible. I`m a libra and shes a...b!tch
I`d like to have a kid but I`m not sure I`m ready to spend ten years of my life constantly asking someone where their shoes are.
The internet is just another location for people to be wrong about things.
Ahhh..Sunday..the biggest decision of the day...to bathe or not to bathe.
It`s not my fault you thought I was normal.
I forget, how much tequila goes in mashed potatoes? Now that`s funny, I don`t care who you are. Oh, don`t copy that part. I mean this part. Oh hell!! Your going to copy and paste the whole thing anyway ;)
Do a little dance... Drink a lot of rum... Fall down tonight...
"I can`t wait to have you inside me," I whispered softly to my dinner.
I organized a threesome last night....there were a couple of no shows, but I still had a good time