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You`re uglier than..... well, you`re the example.
Invite me to your wedding . Invite me to go have fun , but please stop inviting me to your farm .
How many men does it take to open a beer? None! It should be opened by the time she brings it to the couch.
I think there’s finally enough stuff in my kitchen junk drawer to build a spaceship.
Ok advertisers, for the last time. I’m playing a game I downloaded for free. So, the fact that you chose to advertise here means your product is grossly overpriced…
Slut: desirable woman who has sex with someone other than yourself.
Why does everybody call it a "hot water heater?" It`s really a cold water heater.
I think my problem is that I have really fantastic bad ideas...
Just think how cold and snowy it would be WITHOUT global warming!
Is bloodletting still in use today? Just thinking...I know a couple of people here that may be in need of some bloodletting
Getting that beach body is easy. You just have to know where to dig.
I`m so old, I remember when the internet didn`t have commercials.
I`m tired of being the better person. One day I`d like to be the b!tch they claim I am.
Being an adult is 99% wondering how you hurt your back.
Friday Night Inspirational Message: You miss 100% of the shots you don`t drink.