Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
i am not so think, as you drunk i am
You ran a marathon? I ran like 5 red lights this week...
Know why a room full of married people looks so empty? There’s not a Single person in it…
Are you reading this from a toilet? I’m writing this from one.
I wish common sense was more common.
I celebrate 4/20 on January 5th, because I know how to reduce fractions unlik the rest of you morons.
I`m just going to put an "Out of Order" sticker on my forehead and call it a day.
Oh, you think you have relationship problems? Try separating me from my bed in the morning...
If you ever find lotion on a guy`s night stand, it`s not because he wants to moisturize his skin.
Juicing changed my life. I went from being overweight, to being overweight and owning a juicer.
Life tip: if someone comes out of a bathroom sweating, do not go in that bathroom.
My mom likes playing this game called `yell from four rooms away and get upset when I can`t hear her`.
I am bored. Anyone need anything avenged?
Listen lady, if you stopped screaming maybe you would enjoy holding hands with me.
Remember when you thought you’d have it all together by the time you were the age you are now? LOL