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These ramen noodles taste like payday is next Friday.
I try to avoid things that make me fat, like scales, mirrors, and photographs.
I never talk to myself......But I do have some candid conversations with the other personalities!
I wish more people would give me the silent treatment.
Head & Shoulders needs to come out with a body spray that will help repel flakey people from my life.
I wonder what I did in a previous life to get reincarnated as me...
Guacamole is my favorite food that looks like someone already ate it.
Humans claim to be the superior species, but a penguin can use its own body as a toboggan so who`s the real winner?
I talk to myself because my answers are the only ones I accept
If you didn’t want me stopping by for cake, you shouldn`t have advertised your birthday with balloons & banner on your mailbox.
The saddest thing about St. Patrick`s Day is taking down all my Christmas decorations.
My Superpower is eating 5 times the "suggested serving" size.
According to my childhood, 1 out of 3 pigs are excellent builders.
It`s nice that my vacuum has a headlight just in case I want to clean in the dark or wake my dog up thinking he`s getting hit by a train.
The real plot hole in Cinderella was that if everything disappeared at midnight why did the shoe stay?