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Oh the pranks I would pull if I were invisible
Good thing all the `Five and Ten` stores closed... They were nickle and diming us to death.
If I didn`t procrastinate, I probably wouldn`t do anything at all.
I will never understand why my fridge has a drawing of a carrot on the beer drawer.
The Never Ending Story should`ve been a movie about a phone call from my Mother
If you think human beings have evolved a lot. Look at how much Egyptians worshiped cats. Then go look at Facebook for about 10 minutes.
I`m not sure how to say this but ... Worcestershire sauce
props to the parent at the mall that walked up afterward to ask santa what his kid wanted lol
My mother said, “You won’t amount to anything because you procrastinate.” I said, “Oh ya…..Just you wait.....”
Wear black: all the non-conformists are doing it.
I can`t wait to be ashamed of what I do this weekend
I am hungry 25 hours a day
The difference between pizza and your opinion is that I asked for pizza…
I`m Outdoorsy, as in I like to get drunk and pass out in the yard....
This is my leftover status from Thanksgiving.