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Girls don`t dress for guys, they dress for themselves. If they dressed for guys they would be naked all the time
Happy new years, my friends. Thanks for supporting the site, Ralf.
I think I`m gonna take a hot shower. Its like a normal shower, but with me in it.
I accidentally ran over my neighbour`s cat........... Nine times....... just in case
Meal prepping is basically eating a week`s worth of leftovers from a meal that never happened.
I get very nervous out when my Subway sandwich moves up the crowded assembly line without me.
I hate when the weather man says there is a chance of sprinkles in the forecast...makes me want donuts!!
You`ll never see me on Hoarders because I can`t afford that much sh!t.
Vodka...deleting memories since...uhh...
Why is it never opportunity that`s knocking? Instead, it`s usually cops with a warrant...
If anyone ever tells you your dreams are silly, remember there’s some millionaire walking around who invented the Pool Noodle.
Christmas time always make me blue :-(( and then red, then green, then oh wow.. presents...
One way to find out if you`re old is to fall down in front of a group of people. If they laugh, you`re young, if they panic, you`re old.
Help I`m covered in chameleons & no one believes me
"Based on a true story" means it happened more or less like this, but with ugly people.