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30 years later and my Cabbage Patch Kid still has no clue that he`s adopted.
I wish I had a friend like me
Sometimes you have got to talk to a 3year old toddler in order to understand the meaning of happiness in life.
I just scrolled so far back on Facebook`s Timeline... I wound up back over on MySpace. :(
make little things count. teach midgets math.
Life gets expensive when you trust a cute woman.
You haven`t really made it until people start using your name as a verb.
Just ate a whole bag of chips, but it was “reduced fat” so basically it was like going to the gym.
Wife: Hi honey, did you miss me? Husband: With every bullet so far...
So, which one of you is going to be the subject of your local news` annual turkey fryer accident story?
I don`t have a police record ... but I think I do have a Sting cd around here somewhere.
Say what you want about the porn industry. But they are hard workers.
A good way to mess with a jogger is to run up along side them and say "I think we lost them."
Admit it, we all have that special someone we`d visit if given a tank to drive for a day
Vodka can be mixed with anything, including more vodka.