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I´m (insert your name) BITCHES!!!! Deal with that.
Who else`s favorite Spring time game is "Guess how deep that pothole really is."
Momma left strict instructions to knock you out.
List of the most populated places in the world - 1. China 2. India 3. Friend Zone 4. United States 5. Indonesia
Recipes sound good until you realize that you don`t have $846 worth of spices in your house.
The wife finally agreed to anal sex... Does anyone know what a strap-on is?
Two of the most honest people in the world; drunk people and little kids
Sociologists say that social media is creating the laziest generation ever. I expressed my opinion in great detail by hitting the “Like” button.
I`m sorry, all I hear is your perfume
I dont need to control my anger everyone around me needs to control their habit of pissing me off!
if it has tits or tires sooner or later it will give you problems.
You are more likely to be bitten by a person who believes they are a shark than an actual shark.
Ten out of ten pigs prefer turkey bacon over regular bacon.
There are 15 year olds skating in the Olympics and I can’t even walk down my driveway in winter.
I got rid of all the bad influence people in my life and now I`m bored.