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To all my friends who post Controversial, Obscene, Dirty, Offensive, and Derogatory posts, .. Keep that sh!t up. I like it....
If I was supposed to share them, they wouldn`t be called nachos.
No heel is too high when pointed up at the ceiling.
If Apple really want to introduce something new and "innovative" they should just release a longer charger.
I`m starting to get that "f*ck it" attitude about everything..
I’m sorry I offended you with my common sense.
Facebook: A place where people, who know so little about anything, have so much to say about everything.
Don`t half a$$ it. It`s not a real nap unless you take your pants off.
If I didn`t drink, how would everyone know how much I love them at 2am?
Why can’t we all just get a Long Island Iced Tea?
Part of me wants to help you with your crisis, but part of me wants to go to happy hour.
Sometimes, I think I`m a genius. Then I realize I`ve already seen this episode of Jeopardy.
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it.
Nothing says " My divorce didn`t go as planned " quite like the guy with grocery bags hanging on the sides of his bicycles handlebars
"Stop, Drop, and Roll" is not JUST an effective fire safety technique, but also a very memorable way of getting out of a boring conversation. :P