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I will do a lot of things but admitting I`m cold to my wife who told me to bring a warmer jacket isn`t one of them...
I hate it when I put a status and you don`t like it,example this one.
Yes I am a bad boy ... But your the one that`s going to get spanked.
I was an atheist, until I realized I was a sex god.
Nothing says God is forgiving like hell.
Legos are practice for when you get older & buy Ikea furniture
You can run from your problems. Unless your problem is a cheetah.
I never thought you could really guess too low whenever a woman asks you her age. I guess 6 was pushing it.
If it wasn`t for pizza delivery, you wouldn`t see me shoveling a walkway.
I`m like the toughest guy in this comic book store.
Reckon the first person to make popcorn by accident probably ran away
Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance... The five stages of waking up.
Whenever a stranger asks our baby’s name, I always say he hasn’t told us yet.
"I`ve had so much coffee, I got halfway to work and realized I forgot my car."
I call in sick on full moons just to make them wonder.