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Reasons to get out of bed: Food.
I bet Waldo’s parents are worried sick.
“It would take too long to explain…” Translated: “I have no idea how it works.”
When does hibernation start? Because I am 100% participating in that.
I wish I could talk to donkeys so I could be known as the ass whisperer.
When I was kid, I... No wait, I still do that.
Do you know what sexual position produces the ugliest children? ... Go ask your mother.
is in his own little world but it´s okay they know me here.
my phone battery lasts longer than relationships this days !
That akward moment you try and deep throat a banana and get caught ... and your a dude.
I`m right 98% of the time. Who cares about the other 3%?
Do me a favor if someone tells you they don`t like me , tell them I don`t like them either.
If you cry loudly enough, your boss will usually let you go home.
I have decided to give up procrastinating for Lent ... oh, crap.
Nothing is truly lost until your mom can`t find it.