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I`m sure the fellow below don`t have big feet :(
The average fight between men lasts 3 minutes. The average fight between women lasts 17 years.
Dancing in the 70`s: I have absolutely no idea what I am pointing at
Let`s party like there`s no tomorrow and call in sick if there is one.
45 minutes on the treadmill is no big deal if you don`t turn it on
I think "Don`t Kid Yourself" would be a great brand name for birth control pills....
My dream job is a pharmacy cashier & yelling for a price check every time someone checks out anal ointment, condoms, & men buying maxi pads.
Engineers: "okay, so we agree the space between the seat and the console will allow people to see what they dropped but never retrieve it"
Why would I pay someone to scare me at a haunted house when I could just open a can of biscuits at home?
For some people, a new year means a new chance to f*ck it up all over again.
I started studying Tai Chi, so I wouldn`t recommend getting in a slow-motion fight with me...
How to find the perfect wife: Play monopoly with her. if she chooses the iron, she`s the one.
Not one person has been eaten by sharks yet this week. Probably the worst Shark Week ever.
I thought "twerking" was short for "networking". I really embarrassed myself while giving that presentation to the company`s Board of Directors.
I mixed Taco Bell sauce into my Ramen Noodles, It tastes exactly like poverty.