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I`m actually a pretty normal person when you ignore the faint cries for help coming from my basement..
I`m not sure if life is passing me by or trying to run me over.
I enjoy shopping online because at least I don`t have to act all shocked when my credit card gets declined.
My taste in music ranges from, "You need to listen to this" to "I know, please don`t judge me."
How to break up with someone: You: Your ex is attractive. Partner: Which one? You: ME. You: BYEEEE
Sunglasses: I don’t want to make awkward eye contact with certain people.
Thanks to Facebook, rock bottom now has a waiting list.
There are only two types of honest people in this world.....small children and drunk people.
was going to argue with you...but then I remembered I really didn`t care
Looks don’t matter to me if you’re attractive.
It`s funny how my car drives slower on the way to work, than when I`m on my way home.
It would serve me better if they put shopping carts in the middle of the store where my pride realizes I have too much sh!t to carry.
My therapist recommended I quit growling at people...
Im having a problem in Call Of Duty, I go to the menu and... alright by now the girls have stopped reading this, anyone know any good porn sites?
Whoever snuck the s in "fast food" was a clever little bastard.