Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
How do you play religious roulette? You stand around in a circle with your friends and blaspheme, and see who gets struck by lightning first.
Can Walmart be a feeling? I`m pretty sure that`s how I`m feeling today.
If she can cook like her mother and drink like her father, she`s a keeper.
Chili for breakfast. Cause I hate my Co-workers.
Well it`s about time I get in line for that Star Wars movie
Don`t worry about the grass on the other side. It`s not your grass.
The only thing worse than having it rain after you wash your car is have to poop as soon as you get out of the shower.
I don`t wanna be told what to do unless I`m naked
Nothing stops a yawn faster than a dog trying to lick inside your mouth.
I don`t use my cell phone in the car... I have to keep my hands free for making gestures.
I go from "Hard to get" to "Hard to get rid of" in 6 beers flat.
The little piggy who went to market... wasn`t going shopping. Wrap your mind around that for a moment.
Just once I`d like a doctor to tell me I`m not getting enough beer in my diet.
My grandfather once waited in line for 36 hours to get a loaf of bread and I can`t wait two seconds for a Youtube video to load.
is ready to have one too many!