Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Partying on my level requires years of training.
You may think I`m dumb but you overestimate me.
A beautiful woman could post "My dog just died" and she would get replies like "Well, I`m not dead ;)"
I’ve been in this McDonald’s restroom for over an hour, waiting for an employee to wash my hands.
If you think your having a bad day ... You could be digging your own grave at gun point and find buried treasure.
I cannot be held responsible for what my face does when other people talk.
Australian kiss. It`s kind of like a French kiss, but down under.
My mother is the strongest woman I know. You should see how far she could throw a shoe.
One time at the beach this guy was swimming in the ocean yelling, "help! shark! help! " I just laughed, I knew that shark was not going to help him.
If looks could kill, mirrors would be the leading cause of death among ugly people
I have reliable inside information about Apple`s next product. I will not be able to afford it.
I would really like to help you move your furniture tomorrow but I’m going to be too busy sitting on mine
If I ever post something on Social media sites that`s not funny or clever, That just means someone hacked my account, Just Saying!
Hey babe, go to Google Earth, zoom in on your house. See that blue cap in the bushes? Hi!
No matter what I get, it’s impossible not to sound like a douche when saying my order at Starbucks.