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The symptoms of Ebola are sweating, weakness, diarrhoea and stomach pains. Kind of like when I see my wife going thru my phone.
Just once I’d like to learn something the easy way.
What would I do if I won the lottery? Make Charlie Sheen look like an amateur.
WARNING!! I have character defects and I`m not afraid to use them.
I just found out that a bucket of KFC when you`re finished with it, also doubles as a porta-potty...
If anyone could do it, it wouldn`t be called PROcrastination.
Male or female, no one f*cks with you if you put your lipstick on like The Joker.
All my life I`ve wanted to learn to juggle. I just never had the balls to do it.
In the beginning, God created Heaven and Earth. Everything else was made in China
My ex was in a swimming competition with 19 other women today. They were doing the breaststroke. Unfortunately, she came in last place. She didn`t know she could have used her arms!
Why is it called Boob Sweat and not Humiditties?
If a bag is not resealable then it contains one serving. I don’t make the rules.
And remember friends, condoms aren`t always protective....my friend was wearing one and he fell down the stairs
All I’m saying is, you’ve never seen me crying and eating tacos at the same time.
Back in my day we had 9 planets.