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If sex is said to be the best exercise, than why are there no fitness clubs for that. Now there`s idea. . .
What flavor is this Harlem Shake you speak of?
“Why is life so hard?” – Me, trying to open a jar of peanut butter.
From now on when someone asks you where you`re from look them dead in the eye and say: Planet Venus.
The only person whom a woman listens carefully & follows sincerely & does exactly as he says is a photographer
Just got in 30 minutes of cardio trying to pick an ice cube up off the kitchen floor.
They say that you are what we eat. This means that I am cheap, easy and ready in 2 minutes!
I want my tombstone to say "It didn`t make me stronger."
Why do cops get mad when other cops have jurisdiction over a case? I`d be like cool I`m going home to eat.
Just read a book on quantum evolution. The idea is that quantum mechanics are involved in the process of evolution. I still say go to WalMart and then try to sell me on evolution....
When someone tries to tell me they can`t do something, I`m like "you ever hear of the Power of Grayskull?"
If you want to pick up girls ....Keep your back straight and lift with your knees.
If a post is really good you will read it twice. if a post is really good you will read it twice.
Shoplifting is just undocumented shopping.
Putting ketchup on steak should also affect your credit score.