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Does ke$ha go by k€sha in Europe?
If a Jehovah`s Witness dies and goes to heaven...does God hide behind the pearly gates and pretend he`s not in?
I see your Full House and I raise you 3 episodes of Home Improvement. -Me, not knowing how to play poker, but loving 90`s TV
Wishing a happy unbirthday to everybody who`s birthday isn`t today.
Ate salad for dinner! Mostly croutons & tomatoes. Really just one big, round crouton covered with tomato sauce. And cheese. I ate a pizza.
Likes doing tokyo drifts with the shopping carts when I round the corner of each isle at Walmart.
Im at my classiest when my neighbor catches me begging my dog to sh!t faster because it`s cold.
Why isn’t the default for online shopping “view all”? Who likes to skip through 20 pages of only 12 items…
Instead of walking faster when someone holds a door open for me, I slow down to test their door holding resolve.
The trouble with jogging is, that by the time you realize you`re not in shape, it`s too far to walk back.
What is depression? Depression is when you buy a new hula-hoop and it fits you.
I thought "twerking" was short for "networking". I really embarrassed myself while giving that presentation to the company`s Board of Directors.
The problem with some people is that they’re alive.
iTunes got it all wrong, the hottest single of the year is me.
Every store should have one line for people who have their sh!t together.