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Don`t rush me, I`m waiting until the last minute.
If you take Viagra with iron supplements it will cause you spin around and point North.
Corn mazes are great because how often does one get to experience the feeling of being trapped by corn
The guy that discovered milk...What was he doing to that cow?
If you tell someone your Birthday and they automatically know your astrological sign, run as fast as you can away from them.
The problem with some people is that they`re breathing.
Every time I see a safety warning on a product I can`t help think to myself how natural selection has failed us once again...
If everyone would stop screaming, I`m sure we`d all agree I`m not supposed to be in this women`s restroom.
God is creative, I mean just look at me.
Oh cool! ... I really do not care.
My favorite part of country music is the part where I change the station.
The trick to successfully backing out of a parking space is to not care what happens to you or anyone else.
You know it`s a really good bar when there`s a couple outside breaking up.
Just tore the tag off my mattress and there’s nothing the feds can do about it. MUAHAHAHAHA!!!
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in the fruit salad.