Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The guy that discovered milk...What was he doing to that cow?
Why go to a therapist when a woman will explain everything wrong about you free of charge?
When a bird bangs into your window, do you wonder if God is playing angry birds
"Kids are great when you need help around the house." - People who don`t have kids
Never wake a sleeping woman. Because then she´ll be awake.
I can`t wait to procrastinate.
We should`ve let the guy who named oranges keep naming other stuff.
"Why yes, I`d love to be a thousand pounds." – my brain when I see a box of donuts
Every day can be Friday if you`re really irresponsible.
Somewhere out there is a guy named Joe whose greatest achievement is that he was a really sloppy eater.
Men are like a fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it`s up to women to stomp the shit out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with!!
just bought 400 copies of Hoarders: Season 1. Not sure what to do with them.
Organized people are just too lazy to look for things.
Perfect girls are found at every corner of the earth... unfortunately, the earth is round.
Ugh, I forgot to go to the gym today. That`s 9 years in a row now...