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I`m not really your friend until I start insulting you on a daily basis.
Those who stir the sh*t-pot should be made to lick the spoon!
Some of us learn from the mistakes of others; the rest of us have to be the others.
If you`re ever held at gun point, just remember, I`m behind you 100%.
I don`t really want to hear about the marathon, unless of course, they add an element of suspense ... Like a Bear at mile 3
Everyone is gifted......But not everyone opens their present
is having one of those days where they feels like lighting someones face on fire and then trying to put it out with a fork
anyone celebrating anything today? Anything at all... doesn`t matter what. I just need something to drink to.
If ignorance is bliss then there`s a crap load of people in paradise
Dear piece of paper that wont go in the dust pan ... f*ck you!
There`s only one kind of exercise I know and its the beer run.
Hey Lady!, I just deposited $43 dollars in THIS bank.. DON`T FROWN AT ME WHEN I TAKE 3 SUCKERS!
roses are red,violets are blue,god made me beautiful, what happen to you..
If you surround your house in police tape, the odds of you being robbed drops dramatically.
Is there really a need for constipation medicines and stool softeners in a world where burritos and tacos exist?