Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Email: 8 character min, including 1 upper, 1 lower, 1 number, 1 special character. ATM card: 4 numbers
You can pretty much text anything as long as you put a happy face emoticon afterwards. You`re a slut :)
This bulk box of peanuts I got from Costco tastes like styrofoam.
I posted one little joke claiming to have won the lottery and Facebook finds me 1,347 new possible relatives.
Someday we’ll look back on all this and pretend not to remember it.
Doing some caroling! All by myself. In people`s backyards. In the bushes. Very little singing. Mostly watching. -Bfanch
"Turtle Power" is not an appropriate response when HR asks you how you plan to meet your objectives this year. Apparently.
My 12 step program means parking closer to the bar.
I bet genies were a real thing until one jerk wished for genies not to exist anymore.
I want my tombstone to say "It didn`t make me stronger."
I don`t get why people say "They were busting their ass"? Wasn`t it already cracked to begin with?
My opinion of yoga pants varies depending on if I`m at the gym or if I`m at Wal-Mart
If you don`t like the way I drive then get off the hood of my car.
Girl: What color are my eyes? Guy: 34D.
MARRIAGE TIP: Don`t get fat.