Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Is it just me or when you turn off the computer by holding down the power button, it feels like I’m choking it to death.
I love that sound you make when you shut the hell up.
I put on my pants like everyone else. Right after the security guard in Target says "Sir, we`re going to have to ask you to leave."
Why don`t we ever hear anyone bragging about their Allstate safe driving bonus checks?
Yawning is our body`s way of saying 20% of battery remaining
Don’t look unless you’re prepared to see.
Sometimes not being in control is the most awesome feeling in the world.
Just wrote ‘You have no new messages’ on a piece of paper, put it in a bottle and threw it far out to sea.
My Boss requested me on facebook. I was like "pssst". If only he knew all the sh*t I post about his ugly @$$.
Every once in a while someone really special walks into your life. That person is usually delivering a pizza
My new year`s resolution is that donuts have no calories.
No means no! Unless she`s dyslexic; then it`s on!
I have read so much about the dangers of drinking and smoking, that i have decided to quit reading
Young enough to know I can. Old enough to know I shouldn`t. Stupid enough to do it anyway.
I used to think I was good at multi-tasking. Turns out it’s just my multiple personalities doing one task at a time.