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The weekend went by and I don’t remember any of it. That’s a good thing right?
Exercise? More like extra fries.
Now that football season is here, if anyone`s favorite team loses, they can just blame it on Trump.
I keep myself in good enough shape to outrun most women and children during emergencies.
My coworker`s inspire me to drink on the job.
Some people are training as complainers like it is a competitive sport
FACT: The "sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don`t" is not really a good defense in court
I always tell myself there is no such thing as a stupid question, but everyday someone tries to change my mind
Despite the old saying, "Don`t take your troubles to bed", many women still sleep with their husbands.
Everything is so much funnier when you`re not allowed to laugh.
I guess today has been pretty good. I haven`t had to slap one single person yet....
I`ve decided to add more positivity in my life. So, now when I say someone`s an a@#hole, I qualify it with......... but he`s really good at it...........and I`m positive about that!
My favorite thing around the holidays is being put into a group message with 200 people reply "Who`s This"
dreams of a better world... where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned
There are only 53 days until Christmas... just a heads-up in case you haven`t shopped for me yet.