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Do trolls even live under bridges anymore? Or have they all relocated to the Internet?
I`m all for the "going green" thing, but I just can`t bring myself to buy toilet paper that says, "100% Recycled."
That moment you realize that the person who proofread Hitler`s speeches was indeed a Grammar Nazi.
Today I am thankful for dirty text messages, stripclubs, and Jack Daniels
The longest 10 seconds of my day is when I have to hold down the button on an electronic thing to turn it off
Who cares, WTF, OMG, so inappropriate, HOLY HELL ! Good LORD, not another selfie...WHOA NELLIE, NO, NO, and HELL NO!!! Me before unfriending someone.
Nothing says "party" like a red plastic cup.
You know what bothers me? When people assume you`re homeless cause you`re asleep on the street and your pants are gone..
When I was a kid, I really thought piranhas were going to be pretty much a daily concern.
Ok everybody. Please look in your bedroom closet. I got my stalking notes mixed up and don`t know where I am.
I`d like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
More celebrities should donate blood. I mean, imagine having the blood of Will Smith running through your veins.
Iām sorry I offended you with my common sense.
Most of my colleagues and friends can`t spell colleagues or friends.
Neil Armstrong was the first human being to step foot on the moon. Neil A. backwards spells "Alien"