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Kids....because who doesn`t enjoy a fun game of "What the hell is that smell and whose room is it coming from?"
Somewhere someone`s therapist knows you.
Are you reading this from a toilet? Iām writing this from one.
You learn something new everyday and if you didnt know that then you just did.
Iron Man is a superhero. Iron woman is a command.
Tony Romo tried to throw his helmet down in frustration but it was intercepted and returned for a touchdown
You know you are getting old when people keep telling you how young you look.
Settle down joggers at red lights, settle down.
2015 and still no thieves interested in my identity.
You seem like a sweat person. Mind if I lick you to find out?
Talk to me long enough and you`ll realize why I`m single.
Most women desire someone who makes them laugh and also feel safe, so basically a clown ninja.
I`m 50% sure this cross eyed guy is starring at my tits.
Life`s short ... Drink fast
I should probably do some housework before they try to film the next Febreeze commercial here.