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Of course it`s you. If it was me I wouldn`t even bring it up.
It hurts to be in love. Oh wait, I`m sitting on my keys.
A good office manager never let`s you run out of ink, paper or vodka
There should be an "undo" button in an elevator for when you accidentally hit the wrong floor.
I wish there was an observation deck at WalMart.
In my defense, I was left un-supervised...
I hate it when Hippos fall on me when walking home from school... :D
I wanna say something. IΒ΄m gonna put it out there. If u like it, u can take it, if you donΒ΄t, send it back. "I want to be on you"
Camping is fun if you`re into pretending that you`re homeless.
Never tell a lie ... unless it is absolutely convenient
Most days the best thing about my job is that my chair spins
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
I forgot to post this earlier
To Do: Figure out how to get paid to travel the world and eat.
The fact β€œgorilla” does not rhyme with β€œtortilla” infuriates me.