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If we all winked, laughed out loud, stuck out our tongues and blew kisses in real life as much as we do in texts...it would be very creepy.
FINALLY home from work! So, yea...if your phone number is on your profile...I will be drunk dialing you in about 30 minutes or so.
It`s so cold out, I just seen a woman in 2 pairs of pajamas at Walmart...
this one time I was in a bush, and this squirrel was like hey, and I was like hey you can`t talk to me your a squirrel and he was like yea I know lmao
Lightning bugs use their blinkers more than most drivers.
Half the lies they tell about me aren`t true
Put on my workout clothes before going to the donut store just to give the impression I earned this.
Just had a fight with my alarm clock. It wanted me to wake up, I disagreed. Things got violent. Now the alarm clock is broken and I`m wide awake. Not sure who won.
I don`t even think it`s possible for a bear to cook porridge.
It`s always quiet on here at the weekends, it`s like you people have lives or something...
I`d care more about your feelings if they came with a toy and chicken nuggets.
I know you shouldn`t text and drive but I`ve only had 2-3 texts tonight, tops, so I should be okay to drive.
All my dance moves look like i`m trying to tell the guy on first base to steal second
Either I wrote a bunch of drunken Facebook status updates last night, or my dog has finally figured out the computer.
Keep your friends close and your unattractive enemies closer so you look better by comparison in pictures.