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Ya Know, if I was Jessie`s Girl. I would of dumped Jessie for Rick Springfield!!
If I could choose any one mythological creature to become alive & real, I`d have to pick…My girlfriend.
I’ve never been in love but I imagine it’s similar to the feeling you get when you see your waiter arriving with your food.
Like this if you can’t think of a clever status either.
Is it really necessary for the first square of toilet paper to be glued down?
I think I will start calling my wife "My Customer" since she is always right...
My workout plan really only consists of me wandering around in parking lots because I forgot where I parked...
People should be loved. Things should be used. Unfortunately, we have it backwards
Dating should be like buying a car. You should get to talk to the previous owners... SHOW ME THE MANFAX!!
Rough day! I have now completed the top 6 things off my to-do list ... Time to go get another six pack I guess.
Good news: I finally got my computer connected to the wireless printer. Bad news: not sure which house I need to go to get my documents.
Spiderman is just another guy who ends up with sticky hands and covered in white stuff after being on the web.
I was always a believer in evolution....then I spent an hour at Walmart and now I`m not so sure
I wish all my freckles would just mix into a tan.