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Why isn`t a menu board at a coffee house called JavaScript?
For a minute there, I thought I had just wasted 60 seconds...
You guys are even more beautiful now that I`m wearing my "wine glasses".
´s status message is better than yours
I´ll never be old enough to know better.
Wish I turned into a wolf every month instead of getting my period
Ok, I admit. Everything that`s wrong in your life is your fault.
I`m worried that my guardian angel is a crack head.
My "check engine" light came on while driving to work this morning. I looked and the engine is still there...silly light.
When your parties have glasses instead of red cups, you’re a grown up.
This status update contains many of the same words that appear on Pulitzer Prize winning novels.
Space heaters are the perfect housewarming gifts.
I`m going to invent a cleaning product that kills .1% of all germs and bacteria. It doesn`t sound very effective, but I`m going to get it placed right next to all the other cleaning products that kill 99.9% of all germs and bacteria.
Hell hath no fury like a girl tagged in an unapproved pic on Facebook.
Whenever I start feeling spontaneous, my bank account quietly reminds me to calm the f*ck down. -Bfanch