Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My favorite coffee in the morning is the one where no one talks to me while I drink it.
A friend doesn`t question your motive, they just keep their mouth shut and dig.
I`m not mature enough to be in a yoga class.
A sofa is a vacation for your a$$...
"I didn`t get your text" is the new "my dog ate my homework"
Settle down homemade play dough parents.
Never mistake my silence for weakness. No one plans a murder out loud.
"Thank God!!! They are finally taking these damn rubber bands off." -The last thing a lobster thinks.
Here`s an idea...Duck Dynasty Chia Pets
“Yes” is a perfectly legitimate response when asked how many drinks you’ve consumed.
Nicknames are way more fun when people don’t know they have them.
Long story short, I love summaries
I love facebook because it helps me remember what I did the night before when I blacked out.
When you are dead, you don`t know you are dead. It`s pain only for others. It`s the same thing when you are stupid.
A few more months without getting laid and I should be eligible for employment at Gamestop.