Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
People reckon I´m too patronizing (that means I treat them as if they´re stupid).
I kind of like it getting dark so early because it gives me a great excuse to just stay inside and watch TV.
why are the foods you want eat late at night in loud crackling wrappers?
This is a private status. Please don`t tell anyone about it.
When I go to someone’s house & they tell me to make myself at home, the first thing I do is throw them out because I don’t like visitors.
The weekend is just a bittersweet memory.... I won`t cry because it`s over, I`ll smile because for a few miles they believed I was the real bus driver.
its not the up`s and down`s that bring you down...its the jerks!!
m for Monday t for Tuesday wtf Wednesday Thursday Friday get it wtf
Reason number 347 why I hate Facebook: A guy from high school posted 11 new photos all with the caption "me"
Don`t ask me for childcare advice unless you want nuggets of wisdom like "always punch holes in the box so they can breathe."
Home: The place where I can look ugly and enjoy it.
Those 5 donuts I ate are really going to give me an extra boost during my workout today.
Not to get technical, but according to chemistry, alcohol is a solution.
One dog was admiring another dog`s leash, and said, "I admire your restraint."
The fact “gorilla” does not rhyme with “tortilla” infuriates me.