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I purchased my own Taser off the internet the other day. In a totally unconnected incident, I´ve got to buy a cat to replace the neighbors one this afternoon.
I’ve had no formal martial arts training, but I know for a fact the Power Rangers are wasting too much energy on unnecessary summersaults
When i am bored, i like parking along side the xpressway stick a hair dryer out the window, and watch everyone slam on their brakes.
Don`t play stupid with me! I`m better at it.
Not to brag or anything, but I got the high score on my scale today.
I`m not the type of person you should put on speaker phone
How do people rap? I can’t even talk without messing it up.
Admit it...Life yould be boring without me.
This status could be yours for 3 easy payment of $8.99, get in quick because this offer won`t last for long, infact there are only 5 left.
Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
My life is a constant battle of preventing my muffin top from becoming a pound cake.
I have the means to do anything that I want on my day off from work which means that I dont want to do anything on my day off from work.
Did you know you can go to any gym without having to announce it on Facebook?
Good mothers let you lick the beaters when they`re making a cake. Great mothers turn the mixer off first.
I procrastinate so much I’ll probably put off death and never die.