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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have 5 fingers, the middle one is for you.
I don`t know which is worse... waiting for someone to get out of the bathroom so you can use it or hearing them say "come in" when you knock on the bathroom door...
ROFL!!….. LOL jk i’m still in my chair.
Guys if you ever want to imagine what a woman’s mind feels like imagine a browser with 2,859 tabs open. All. The. F*cking. Time.
What is an Amish girls favourite fantasy? Two Mennonite
It`s hard to trust people. Even the blind prefer to be guided by dogs.
I´m not cheap, but I am on special this weekend. ;)
This status update contains many of the same words that appear on Pulitzer Prize winning novels.
Idea: maybe the police force for a town of 20,000 shouldn`t have access to weapons you ordinarily need cheat codes to get
I will never forget the day when she said yes to me because that was the last time we agreed on anything.
Having to cash in my State Quarter Collection`s map for gas money is reaching a new low.
Sometimes all you need is a hug or someone to tell you everything will be ok, or some rough sex or whatever....
If you were dating an FBI agent and you broke up, they would be your fed ex.
If life is a Bitch, then why hasn´t it made me a Sandwich
Intelligence is like underwear. It`s important that you have it but there`s no need to show it off.