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I think I`m a grown up the same way Dr. Phil is a doctor.
My mom put shredded carrots in our Jello, so don`t tell me about your rough childhood.
WARNING:: going to bed on Sunday will cause Monday.
If your dog weighs less than 10lbs, it`s technically a cat
My cat probably thinks I`m cleaning my ice cream...
I`m not really much of a plumber, but I have laid some pipe before.
I`m not an asshole, I`m just the only one who has the balls to say what everyone else is thinking.
It’s like I wanna be left alone but I still want people to notice my absence, you know.
I bought a pair of Meatloaf underwear today. On the front they say `I would do anything for love`. On the back, `But I wont do that!`
My boys cleaned out my car and now my change is missing. Little do they know, it costs exactly $3.63 to turn our wifi back on.
Liquid sanity: I call it alcohol..!!
Happy birthday to my Pet Rock who is 453,786,321 years old today!
What am I doing with the rest of my life? I don`t even know what I`m doing with the rest of this post...
Don`t feel bad if you don`t enjoy my posts. The important thing to remember is that I do. I enjoy all of them. That`s what matters.
We think therefore we must be, but are we?