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A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
I`ve been starting my diet tomorrow for the last 20 years.
i spend 800% off my life exaggerating
A walk of shame is always sad. Don`t make it worse by adding the sound of Flip flops to it.
I`m not a control freak. I just know what`s best...for everyone.
People say that marriage is a job...marriage is not a job, its a hobbie!! Dating while you`re married...that`s a job!!
Turns out if you fake your death every monday work catches on.
I’ve been waiting 2 hours for an employee to come and wash my hands like the sign says….
Some people are like rain clouds. Once they f*ck off, it`s a beautiful day.
Yoga is a great way to meet and embarrass yourself in front of women
Hey, guy from the gym with lifting gloves still on, you can take them off now, you`re in Starbucks.
Sometimes I can’t remember what parking lot I left my car in at the mall so I get it Malaysia Airlines…I totally get it.
Men are usually too focused on the cleavage in the shirt to notice the crazy in the eyes.
No thanks, NASCAR. If I wanted to spend 8 hrs watching a car drive around in a big circle, I`d go on a road trip with my mom.
Life is basically just a constant effort to not be disgusting.