Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If I ignored you any harder, we`d be married.
There is a 100% chance that I’ve called some of the most wonderful people in the world the most horrible things imaginable while in traffic.
Punctuality is a waste of time since no one is ever there to appreciate it.
When life gives you melons, wear a low cut top.
I hate when someone has a loud conversation on their cell phone and then gives me dirty looks for jotting down everything they say.
What supermarket did the pilgrims visit to purchase their canned gelatin cranberry sauce? I want my Thanksgiving to be authentic.
The list of things I won’t eat if covered in chocolate gets smaller everyday.
im so hungry, im farting fresh air
Well, all I have to say is TGIF. (Post this on any day but Friday to get comments)
You´re never too old to learn something stupid.
First Ebola case in USA , and the Walking Dead starts next week... brb gonna go buy a crossbow.
Revenge is best served to someone`s toothbrush.
The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they´re going to be when you kill them.
Ringing in the “New Year” apparently is not a valid excuse for showing up to work 3 hours late… in October.
I never drink unless I am alone or with somebody.