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Because of smart phones my thumbs now have biceps.
Thinking about starting a line of realistic welcome mats with things like "Please don`t stay long!" or "I hope you brought booze."
These last 7 hours at work are always the longest.
is deep in thought . . . if only i could remember what i was thinking about
If I ever sound inspriational, one of us is drunk.
Sarcasm: just one of the many services I offer ;)
The three most terrifying words a woman can utter to a man are "notice anything different?"
It`s important to teach your children math so they can better understand what episode of Star Wars they are watching.
With all the botched executions lately, it has been suggested that we bring back the guillotine. But if we do that I`m sure heads will roll.
Shot my first turkey today...scared the crap out of everyone in the frozen food section. It was awesome!
They say you`ve got to spend money to make money. Feel like there`s some middle step I`ve been missing?
Considering this is the land of the free, stuff is pretty damn expensive.
How long are Winnie the Pooh and Tigger going to ignore the fact there`s something seriously wrong with Eeyore
Truthfully, I`d like you all a whole lot better if you were bacon.
I think the saying "every man for himself" was made up by women tired of making sandwiches.