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"Everyone give us money in case something happens and when something happens we`ll call you a liar." -insurance
I just researched the medicinal name for Viagra..... MYCOXAPHAYLYN
what does bgif mean on a friday night ? ... boobs go in front
Wtf? I was always told to treat people the way I want to be treated.. Stupid sexual harassment charges pending.
Parents: Where are you going at this time of the night all dressed up like a slut? Daughter: To the bathroom, I need a new Facebook picture.
I slammed the car door on my fingers this afternoon. In related news, there`s an 83% chance that my nephew just added "Mother*ucker" to his vocabulary.
In light of recent events, I have no choice but to deduct a full star from my Yelp review of Earth.
If I had a time machine I`d set it to "back in the day", just to see what everyone is talking about.
I learn something new every day that I didn`t want to know.
received a call saying that my son had been lying in school, and was being expelled. I don´t have a son. That kid is one damn good liar.
Never take a Chess enthusiast to a restaurant with checkered tablecloths!……It’ll take them an hour to pass the salt!
I`m saving all my good posts for when I can think of some.
Sometimes I wish you could order Karma like flowers and have it delivered.
U.S.A.... where people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke
What if oxygen makes our voice really deep, and Helium just brings it back to normal?