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I hope Mexico doesn`t raise the cost of Tequila to pay for this wall.
some people just need a hug...around the neck...with a rope!!
It’s not the destination, it’s the journey. Except when you’re heading to the bathroom with explosive diarrhea.
Why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone.
So far my Christmas shopping has involved buying myself presents, so I’d say it’s been a success.
Pretending to be a morning person is exhausting.
Dear Haters, I have so much more for you to be mad at me for...please be patient.
why hello there stalker! Enjoying my profile?(=
There’s always that last setting on your windshield wipers that makes you go “damn, calm the f*ck down!”
I was fighting with this guy over who`s lazier. I let him win.
Serving size ?? LMAO
Christmas is over. We now return to our regularly scheduled self centered lives already in progress.
Know what? If they had Neosporin back in 1931, that nasty scar on Frankenstein`s forehead would have been far less noticeable.
If Welch’s is 100% Grape Juice, then why the heck do you list 4 other ingredients?
If you have time to update your status as "very busy", then you obviously exaggerated.