Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I know I have a long way to go but look at how far I`ve come.
Gas prices are a lot like girls: We just wish they would go down.
Sometimes I worry that eating pizza isn`t a real sport.
OMG ... I hate waiting in lines ... I wish this woman would hurry up and pick a suspect already.
I hate Cheetos stains on my peignoir.........
I meant to make you a rum cake but somehow I made you a plain cake and now I’m drunk.
likes to end all my phone calls with "Ok, I`ll see you later on at the party!" and then quickly hang up. Let them figure it out.
You can tell Monopoly is an old game because there’s a luxury tax and rich people can go to jail.
I know karate, jujitsu, judo, taekwondo and 28 other dangerous words. Still wanna` mess with me?
Whenever I see a happy couple.... smiling, giggling, feeding each other food, whispering sweet nothings, very much in love..... I just wish I could give them a lie-detector test.
I`m about to eat gas station breakfast. Tell my family that I love them.
I finally found a simple and easy way to deal with my weight problem. I threw my scale out.
That awkward moment when the woman your dancing behind bends over so you can grind it, and you realize she`s just lost an earring and nobody in Starbucks can hear your iPod...
Pocketwatches were replaced by wristwatches, which became digitalwatches, which were replaced by mobile phones. Which we keep in our pockets
Before Walmart you had to buy a ticket to the fair to see a bearded lady!