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People who text back... "kk" ... Are so annoying! ....and almost racist
I bet Waldo’s parents are worried sick.
It`s hard to make your coffee when you haven`t had your coffee.
If you have a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: Take two, and KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN
My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch. It’s called Lunch.
Ok honey don’t freak out, but someone broke into the house, ate all the ice cream, smashed that picture of your mother, and didn’t do the dishes.
All this time I thought PTA stood for Parents to Avoid
Mondays aren`t so bad... it`s my job that sucks.
Well, the people outside are frightful.
I can take care of my drunk friends, so the responsibility of having children doesn`t worry me.
I’m supporting our troops today by going commando.
when a police officer yells turn around . Do not respond by singing . Every now and then i get a little bit lonely when you never come around
I`m so sick and tired of my friends who can`t handle their alcohol. The other night they dropped me three time while carrying me to the car.
You know you drank too much last night when you have to use google maps to locate yourself the next morning.
if your dirty, your dirty... you cant fix it